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December 2018

Recently, my case of Imposter Syndrome (I call it my “Poser Complex”) has gotten worse and worse. None of my accomplishments seem deserved. I don’t think I deserve my job; I believe I’m not qualified. When someone compliments my art, I tell myself “they’re lying to make you feel good”. When I get good grades, I wonder how? I have no idea why my partner would want to date me. I am not hardworking or talented or smart. I feel like a scam. I feel like I’m cheating and somehow getting away with it. I feel like a POSER. I’m fighting my way through this strange headspace, hoping to find a place where I don’t feel like a fraud.

Poser Complex represents how I feel on the outside. Trying hard to be someone I’m clearly not. From afar, I can fit in, pass as something I’m not. But the truth is revealed when looked at closely; I am a poser.

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